A few recent events have made me think about my bilingualism in a way I had never previously considered. There have been a couple of instances when a peer and a co-worker, both fluent in English and Spanish, have chosen to begin a conversation with me in English, but then switched to speak in Spanish around other peers and co-workers who are known to only speak English. During both occasions I felt extremely uncomfortable for two reasons. First, I did not want my co-workers, who I would have to work with daily, to have a bad impression of my friends and me. Secondly, I did not want my friends to feel rejected by me for choosing to respond in English as they continued to speak in Spanish.
One of the dynamics of language is that it can either unite or separate people. In this case, it is possible that my friends’ selection to speak Spanish was influenced by their wanting to connect with me in a personal level because we all have similar backgrounds. However, doing so, whether consciously or subconsciously, this affiliation often times results in a division between us Spanish-speakers and them English-speakers. It undoubtedly emphasizes the differences of both groups. As much as I wanted to bond with my friends through our shared language, and I did by answering the first couple of sentences in Spanish before switching back to English, I could not comfortably continue the conversation in Spanish for fear of alienating the other people in the room. I also did not want to create a gap between my Latino ethnic background and my American background
This is an example of a situation when it was difficult to embrace my two cultures at once. While it would be great to put on one identity one day and a different one the next, it is not that simple because you want to show loyalty to both cultures. I have found it beneficial to be inclusive and flexible with both cultures by finding solidarity within them. While it is completely appropriate (and sometimes subconscious) to connect with another person through the convergence of a language, we should make an effort to be mindful about when it is or is not appropriate.
As a bilingual Latino-American I am constantly faced with options, many consisting of choosing with whom and when to associate either background. It was not until confronted with these situations that I realized the power of my behavior. It seems to me that our bi-cultural identity becomes an advantage when we learn to manage both identities in an effective and cohesive way. The ability to gain the support of both audiences can help in bridging the gaps between both group’s relationships.
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Inciteful! You made me think of our bilingualism in a different way.
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